i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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