She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
