i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
