I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
