I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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