My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
