woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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