I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
