I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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