I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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