is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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