No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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