Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize