Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
