I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
