That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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