dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
