quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
How's work?
Spinning.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
