do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize