Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
