omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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