I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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