so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
