That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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