Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
