Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
