i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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