fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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