I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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