its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My balls are so social today.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
