oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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