you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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