Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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