All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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