That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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