she woke up with a sticky ear
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I forgot wine drunk hurts
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
