I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
