you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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