Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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