the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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