those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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