we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
