If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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