i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize