I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
