Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
is that a dick in a sweater?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
