oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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