and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
