Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
