Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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