I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
