i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
How external is "for external use only"?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
