saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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