Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
