Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize