Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
