I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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