Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
