you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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